Dear Chicago…

Dear Chicago:

It saddens me to have to tell you this, but I’m leaving you. Please don’t be hurt. It’s not you, it’s me. I mean, we’ve had some great times over the last 17 and a half years. But the fact of the matter is that I’m just not feeling the love for you like I once did.

This is hard for me because despite everything, I still feel very close to you. But I feel I owe it to you to be honest: Maybe it is a little you too. I mean, we’re just both so different than we were back in 1993. Of course, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And maybe that is part of the problem too.

I’m trying to keep things positive, trying to remember the good parts. How could I forget my initial crush on you? I remember how you took me to exciting places, opened up my world to new people and interests. If only that newness didn’t fade. You’ve changed over the years. Too often you’ve altered your character to meet the demands of an overwrought local government, big businesses and greedy real estate developers. You’re just not as fun as you used to be. And it’s too bad, because you held such promise.

I’ve decided that I can no longer live with your extreme meteorological moodiness, either. I realize you’ve always been like this, Chicago. In the beginning of relationships, we overlook the faults of our lovers and make concessions for things that irk us. But between the sweltering summer nights and the never-ending winters — and your overall schizophrenic nature — I cannot take it any more.

As you must have figured out by now, I’m leaving you for another city. He’s a much younger and has a different attitude, not to mention a much different climate. I suppose I’m wrapped up in the excitement of infatuation. I realize new love always has a glowing sheen which usually wears off. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Whatever the case, I feel like I have to take a chance to start anew. I feel like I don’t have a chance to grow, to learn, to expand my horizons further if I stay with you.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to focus totally on the negatives. It wasn’t all bad, the almost 18 years we spent together. You schooled me and made opportunity possible. You truly were a loving, cosmopolitan influence that shaped who I am today. You taught me acceptance, pride, self-reliance and street smarts. More importantly, you helped me become a man. For that I am truly grateful.

More than anything you helped me find my “logical family”, as Anna Madrigal would put it. You opened the doors of possibility so that the most important people in my life could walk through. Because of you I have found love, kinship, acceptance and built life-long friendships with people who I’d have otherwise not met. You were a glorious way station for my fellow travelers.

Well, my dear city, I don’t want to drag this on any longer than needed. I think you know why I have to leave. You were my first love and I’ll always treasure our time together. Some call you The Second City, but you’ll always be Number One in my heart. I bid you farewell, my dearest Chicago.

My Love Forever,
J.

[Author's Note: This is the last entry under The Ungay Guy masthead. But don't worry, I am not going to stop blogging. I'm launching an all-new blog soon. You'll be able to follow my adventures in San Francisco and my general bullcrappery for years to come. Be sure to follow me on Twitter for updates.]

Advertisement